ADHD & Me

Living with ADHD often feels like I’m in a constant battle. Not against something evil or malicious, but against a brain that just won’t sit still, shut up, or follow the plan (what plan?).

It’s Me vs my ADHD, every single day.

Some mornings I wake up ready to conquer the world. I have a to do list that I wrote the night before (go me!), a plan, and even a little bit of energy. And then suddenly, ping! I remember I need to buy bin bags. That’s cool, I can remember that. Then, pong! I’m wondering if sloths can swim (yes, they can , I Googled it). Before I know it, it’s lunchtime, and I’ve done absolutely nothing from the list I made and that shred of energy I started my day with has dwindled.

ADHD isn’t about being a bit distracted. It’s like my brain has 42 tabs open, a song is playing, and I can’t find which tab it’s coming from. Oh, and one of them is on fire.

One of the worst parts? The guilt. The missed deadlines. The forgotten birthdays. The half finished projects and unread messages. I know it’s not intentional, but that doesn’t stop the sinking feeling when I realise I’ve let someone down. Again.

It becomes this painful and vicious cycle – forget, feel awful, over promise to make up for it, crash and burn, rinse and repeat. And the more I beat myself up, the harder it is to function, it’s almost like ADHD feeds on shame and chaos.

People often see ADHD as just being quirkyor scatterbarined, but it’s deeper than that. It messes with my emotions, my relationships, and even my self-worth. I can hyper focus for hours on something I love (hello planning that Disney holiday that we absolutely can not afford)… but I can’t bring myself to reply to a simple email. I’ll interrupt people not because I’m rude, but because if I don’t say it right now, I’ll forget entirely. And I’ve spent far too long wondering if I’m just lazy or broken. Spoiler: I’m not lazy. Or broken. I’m just exhausted from trying to keep up in a world that wasn’t built for brains like mine.

For all the battles, there are some unexpected wins. ADHD brings so many positives that is different for everyone and we rarely talk about. For example, I can spot connections that others miss. I can dive deep into an idea and bring it to life in a way that surprises even me (usually because I have the idea, think the idea is a bad idea, and then do the idea to find actually, it was a good idea). I also feel things insanely deeply, which means when I care, I care hard. And by seeing these things, I am slowly & painfully, I’m learning to work with my brain instead of constantly fighting it.

In the end, maybe it’s not Me vs my ADHD after all. Maybe it’s actually Me vs the unrealistic expectations. Me vs the inner critic. Me vs the systems that don’t support neurodivergent minds. Because ADHD is part of who I am. It’s not the enemy. It’s just… loud, unpredictable, and occasionally glittery. Like the sidekick I didn’t ask for but now can’t live without (let’s call her Rory). And despite everything — I’m still here, still trying, still showing up. And that’s a win in my book.

As I have waffled on (thanks, Rory), I’ll sign off. But with lots coming up over the next few months, me and Rory will be back!

Say bye, Rory… (Bye)

Xx